Ghost of 4th of July's Past: 2008

2008:  Coming off the heels of a bitter breakup and needing desperately to rejoin the land of the living, I joined Damion and Ryan on the Cumberland for the 4th.  Damion had just flown in from Korea that morning and was ready for the river.  We spent the day with the Redneck Yacht Club out on the river, boating, tubing, skiing, swimming, and generally having a great time.  We got back to Damion and Ryan's house in the evening and I sat up talking to them until about 10:30 PM.  When I went to leave, I couldn't exit the subdivision the normal way because of families setting off fireworks in the streets, so I turned to the right and figured I could maneuver my way out in the dark.

I was so, so wrong.  And anyone who knows me and my driving history should get a laugh out of this story.

The subdivision was expanding and under construction, and the road tied in to someone's property out on Peacher's Mill.  I was supposed to turn right when I came to a stop sign, which seemed counter-intuitive because I knew the main road was on the left, so I turned left.  That, however, was the wrong choice that led me to someone's driveway, in the dark.  I realized I had gone the wrong direction and needed to turn around, so I pulled off the dirt road and backed down a little side road to start my turn when I felt something slip.  I could not see ANYTHING because it was so dark and tree covered out there, so I tried to pull forward but my car wouldn't budge.  I thought I must have sunk it down into the little ditch off the side of the road and it wasn't coming out without some help.  Sigh. 

My driver's side door wouldn't open because it was next to a tree, so I climbed out the passenger side.  Still unable to see anything in the dark, I called Damion and asked him to bring his truck down to pull me out.  After they found me (and laughed for about 10 minutes at my stupidity) they shined their headlights at my car.  It was not stuck in a ditch.  Not even close.

It was actually kind of backed into a tree, on the rear driver's side corner of my trunk.  The tree was supporting my car from the 20 foot drop below it.  Unbeknownst to me, the road I was driving on was raised high above the fields surrounding it, and had that tree not been there to stop my car, I would have backed off a cliff.  Into a ravine.  Okay, it was just a pasture, but still, it LOOKED like a ravine.

The angle of my car made it nearly impossible to pull it out with a regular truck, and Damion wasn't even going to try.  So we called our other friend, Troy, and he came to take a look at it.  Same story.  Then we called our other friend, Matt, who was far too drunk to come over and look at it, and we realized we had to call a tow truck.   On the 4th of July.  In Clarksville, Tennessee.  The tow truck showed up about an hour later, could barely make it down this little dirt road, and took one look at my car and said "Nope, I can't get this out."  After I begged, pleaded, cried, and begged some more, he said he would try it but I had to sign my life away to convince him to do it.

30 seconds and $100 later, my car was back up on the main road.  The process sounded horrific.  Screeching, scraping...pretty much the equivalent of vehicle bloodshed.  When I finally opened my eyes, I was completely shocked at the amount of damage done by the huge tree.

My taillight was broken.

That was it.  No other damage to my car except a broken taillight.  To this day I have no idea how that was possible.  And while the true reality of the situation didn't hit me until later, I knew at that moment that someone was definitely looking out for me that night.